So in my first post I shared a link to one of the blogs that I have created in the past. Looking over it and reading my posts back then is pretty cool! I read this one that I wrote not too long after I got married. So funny that I still have these feelings sometimes and its been 2 1/2 years! I should really listen to myself....
Enjoy this flashback!
Two Hearts, Two
Lives, One Love
Being married is such a great way to learn. I have been so humbled as I have been married. There are things that I thought I was good or that I thought I knew and it turns out that I really don’t have a clue. There are things that I assumed every marriage is like and I have been completely wrong. I am just so grateful to have a loving and patient husband and Heavenly Father who understands and helps me learn. I know that there are plenty of lessons to be learned and boy am I glad I have a long time to learn them and to progress. I have learned that it is okay to be two separate people. I sometimes forget that we are two separate people who need to do our separate things. I used to think we needed to and expected to do everything together and that I couldn’t do what I have loved doing my whole life anymore. That sounds completely ridiculous when I say it out loud but that is what I truly thought. I sort of hated when my husband would play video games or just want to ride his freebord. I would get so upset because I hated that those things were taking away time from us and thought they meant more to him then me sometimes. Now of course that is not true! I thought that when your married you had to dedicate every waking moment to your spouse and forget about the things you used to do, boy was i relieved when i found out that wasn’t true! One day it all accumulated and I got frustrated and pretty upset because I felt/thought I could not longer do some of the things I have always done and I was missing those things, I felt I was loosing who I was and who I loved being and I just wasn’t happy. After a few great talks with my husband and Heavenly Father I have realized that I have been completely wrong and a little silly for thinking those things in the first place. I don’t have to get upset when my husband just needs to veg and play video games or go out and ride his freebord. I don’t have to feel like I can’t listen to or do certain things anymore. After all it’s two lives coming together. we’ve grown up in completely different situations. Our ways of relaxing or “vegging out” are completely different. We think differently and enjoy different things while still enjoying similar things and that is totally okay. It doesn’t mean we don’t want to spend time together or don’t love one another we can still do what we love to do and be our own person while still being one.
When I got married and pretty much my whole life, I have always had this fairy tale image of what marriage/love was supposed to be like, (Thank you romance and Disney princess movies/books….GEEZ!) but the truth is, we make our own fairy tale and the Disney/romance movies/books are just that, MOVIES/BOOKS. Of course their situations and life’s are always going to be perfect because well, its not real. Sometimes it is hard to believe but a good marriage and lasting love come with hard work and dedication. It doesn’t always just happen. I wouldn’t change a thing about how beautiful that is. I am so glad that I get to learn, grow, put in the hard work and dedication with my husband to make our family strong! There is no better gift than marriage! I am so grateful for it. I am so grateful for my loving and understanding husband who doesn’t laugh at me or think I’m crazy for the way I think sometimes. I am so very grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a wonderful man and blessing us for the wonderful sealing power so we can be together for time and ALL eternity! With all my friends and so many people my age going on missions I often feel like maybe I should have gone. That could have been the plan for me but it was either get married or go on a mission. My love for Brance consumed me every waking moment and even in my dreams. I know I was supposed to marry him and I couldn’t risk loosing him to someone else. Everything just worked out so perfectly from how we met to when we got married to where we are now. Our whole relationship so far has been filled with this light, tenderness, and love that I cannot begin to explain. There will be other chances for me to serve the Lord and perhaps the biggest way I can do that is within my own family and community. I know those thoughts are not from God because when I look back everything just worked out so perfectly and mine and Brances relationship is something quite special! I will be forever grateful to my loving Heavenly Father for blessing me with such an incredible husband! I cannot wait to see what lies ahead for us!
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