“Get Out of Your Head and Live Your Life”
March 24, 2014
I am taking a Marriage and Family relations class this semester and am learning so much! Today we talked about emotional communication. In part of our discussion we talked about repairing relationships after we may have hurt someone we love. We talked about being accountable and responsible as well as forgiving. Forgive yourself to forgive others. Embrace your own humanity so we can relate to others with openness and kindness. Don’t let your own guilt get in the way. These were all points that were made. Now! Before VERY recently I struggled with this in my life. I wasn’t forgiving myself for past mistakes therefore I wasn’t forgiving others, I wasn’t realizing that those people are human too and if I wanted forgiveness I needed to forgive them, relate to the mistakes made, and be kind. I was letting my guilt get in the way! I couldn’t help but realize this connection in class. Later, we discussed simple ways to stay present such as; Stay in the room-what do you notice around you?, check in with your body-reconnect your body in the present, focus on your breath-take 10 breaths, stay differentiated- YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Now last night I had a wonderful experience and talk with my amazing husband and some of the same things that were discussed in class today were the same things we discussed last night.
I kept applying it to one thing…THE ATONEMENT! I realized (with some help) that the last part of receiving this INFINITE gift is forgiveness on our part. After going through all the necessary steps of repentance, we must forgive ourselves and forgive others. This is probably the hardest part. I wasn’t feeling the forgiveness that I was free or forgiven by my Heavenly Father and Savior because I guess I didn’t believe I deserved it. That was a lie! I had all these thoughts in my head, all this anger, these “what if’s” and it was KILLING me. Literally ripping me apart! I felt like I wasn’t forgiven of these past mistakes because I wasn’t feeling that I was. Well, after a night full of a great husband listening and helping me I finally got it! I finally realized why I wasn’t feeling the forgiveness that I so desperately wanted! It was simply because I wasn’t forgiving myself! I was letting those “what if’s”, anger, guilt and shame fill my very being. The Lord wants nothing more for his children to be happy. to feel free. He is often more merciful than we are upon ourselves. we must forgive ourselves to free ourselves from unnecessary guilt. We must let it go!
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!!! When my professor said this I realized how true it is!! “We are not our thoughts” he says “That would be awful. What we sometimes think is not the person we are. Everyone has thoughts that come into our minds because we are human. We all have some strange thoughts sometimes but that is not who we are” That really hit me and I felt the strength of that truth. Now, of course if we are not careful and entertain some thoughts we get, then they can turn into words and actions but the whole point of this was to get out of our heads. Not punish ourselves for what may pop up but when they do to just come back to the present and not live inside your head. At least that’s what I got. The last point made before class ended was, notice your thoughts and let them go- Leaves on a stream. So when thoughts of unworthiness or thoughts that I know are not from God come into my mind I notice them but let them go. “Yeah I have made mistakes and I am not proud of it but that’s not who I am anymore.”
I think people tend to over exaggerate things and make up scenarios in their head that aren’t real...GUILTY... Some people may let thoughts grow and be entertained and all it brings is unhappiness...GUILTY AGAIN... I, as every other human alive, am imperfect. I make mistakes. I have sinned. I have felt regret, shame, guilt, and anger, for myself and towards others. BUT! the amazing thing is that my Savior, Jesus Christ has sunk below all things therefore I need not linger in the past. I am learning the power of forgiveness right now in my life. I am learning how to forgive myself and how to forgive others, to not hold on to my past mistakes or others past mistakes. It is definitely not easy but I can already feel the change in my life, the happiness that comes.
God is so good! I am so grateful for that tender mercy that I received today. I am so grateful that I was able to learn and expand on this truth in one of my college classes. I never thought that I would learn something so powerful or be able to relate what I was learning in one of my college classes to gospel principles. I see the Lords hand in my life and feel His immense love! What I received today was an answer to my prayers and that answer came for going to class today. Prayers are truly answered in the most unexpected ways. We are not alone and God will go to unmeasurable circumstances to make sure we know that! <3
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